it was the first time i’d ever been in a climbing harness… straps on my legs and around my waist. i had no problem belaying other people climbing, it was something i needed to learn. but i needed to learn how to use the zip line… and that was 35 feet higher than i was at the moment. just so you know, i’m not afraid of heights. i love to be at the top of something and peer down the edge, feeling gravity nip at my toes. but here… a climbing wall, with tiny little nubbin foot holds, and freshly taught rec staff holding ME on belay? not something i’d bet on.
i looked over to the supervisor and told him that i’d feel a lot better climbing a ladder straight to the top. he smiled and informed me of my second option. the lobster claws. the lobster claws are two ropes that i hook to my harness, each end had steel locks that operated like their namesake. he walked me over to the side of the rock wall. we stood at the base of what was basically a telephone pole straight up. all the way up were staggered staples that were two inches wide and stuck out about 4 inches, and were positioned like alternating steps. the goal was to climb up these staples, and hook in each claw all the way. take a step up, attach the left claw, take a step up, attach the right claw, take a step up, detach the left claw and attach at the next highest staple (at least 2 feet apart) and alternate all the way up to the top.
i inhaled…
after all my talk, there was no way to back out now. so i started climbing, quickly. left, right, left right. about 10 feet up the pole, i stopped to think about this… and realized that there was nobody holding me up by a rope like the regular rock wall. it was all me. my arms and legs wrapped around a pole. lifting myself. i made the first 15 feet in about 20 seconds. the staples kept getting smaller and smaller, not to mention further apart. my breathing deepened and i began to tire, clutching my fingers through these tiny metal loops. everytime i detached a claw i felt my body wearing out leaving me 5 second to attach it to the next staple, or i’d collapse backwards. i had nothing to lean into, or rest upon.
a handful of people gathered around the bottom to watch this large guy take the option that nobody else wanted to do. i wasn’t afraid to take the challenge, but it was physically the most uphill battle i’ve ever taken. and it wore me to my core. i had something to prove. there was no way down but the zip line at the top. i couldn’t take steps backwards.
i’m reminded of the battles that i face from time to time, in my relationship. sometimes, well, a lot of the time, i don’t know if i’ll ever reach the top. but i know that if i don’t try, i won’t anyways. i accept the challenge and once i realize i’m halfway, there’s nowhere i would rather go than forward. no matter what it takes, or however hard the struggle.
when i finally reached the top of the wall, i collapsed on the floor, completely out of breath, and both of my arms locked tense, swollen and throbbing. i finally got to take the leap off, down a 200 foot zip line… hanging upside down like i had seen campers do hundreds of times. the rewards of the struggle completely worth the fear, the pain. we can live our lives to the fullest, and enjoy every bit of our efforts. we can be amazing together, we can beautiful together… and i can’t wait to see what else is in store for us..
